Crackpot Kayak Dude

Every now and then some crackpot contacts me, and it irritates me enough to post the conversation. I get a ton of these types of emails and sometimes share them on my private FB profile, because they are humorous. But a few deserve to see the light of day. Here’s one of them.

I have to wonder if it is because I give away drawings of kayaks for free on this website. Maybe I need to raise the price to $5 or $10 minimum for any drawings.

Crackpot Kayaker:
Hello !! I just tried to answer your questions about why you do not receive more pictures , answers or contacts about your “free plans” !! But the “system” told me that I could not answer because I was not registered !! Fuck that system !! In fact it is easy to answer !! You do everything for US , ordinary people NOT to understand what you write desing or says !! After ahlf an hour of writing an answer to you , choosing each and every terms , came the imediate answer saying that I was no registered I do not know where !! In fact you may beleive that every one can understand computer staff as you do !! But most of us do know much less , and it could be MUCH simple , (to get a strong answer) to send only the offsets of your plans and we will manage to understand that much better than your “computish” system !! Make it simple and you will get a better answer !!

I wont call you from Brazil to the States , beacase it could cost me mora than one set of your plans !!

Me:
I have no idea what you are writing me about. Sorry.

Crackpot Kayaker:
Are you the guy who offer the free plans of Siskwivit kayak ??Só you should know how the system work at our end !!To save the pric of some plans , we enter into your system , and to

Me:
I think you mean PaddlingLight. But, yes, I provide drawings and the Siskiwit is my design. You don’t have to register to leave a comment

Crackpot Kayaker:
But when I click on ” Send” the program ask me to register !! And when I receive that answer , my message has gone , and I spend 10 minutes or more to write it !!
A real pain som where !!
Tha fact is that I try to copy the Plans / design of that kayak Siskewit(???) for some years , and cannot copy !!
May be I am too old to understand your system !!
With some simples offsets it could be much easier for some oldies like me who understand better numbers than programs !!

Me:
The program that I use to design the kayaks doesn’t allow for simple offsets. It would take me about 100 hours of work to produce offsets. This is a hobby and I don’t have that type of time.

Crackpot Kayaker:
But , please try to send some measures in inches or centimeters , but NOT in thousands of an inch , like a lot of designers actually do !!OK !! I understand you !!But if you think what we got at our end !!Usefull shit !!Could you make it simplier ?? I know nothing about computing !!

Me:
Sorry. I don’t have time to do that. I just can not provide offsets. To get the drawings, go to the website. Add the drawings to your cart and check out.

Crackpot Kayaker:
And if you ask yoursef WHY you do not have more success with your plans !!
OK !! Thank you for your NEGATIV” answer !!
I will try to get these plans (I do not mind to pay) from somewhere else !!
In fact you proove that your site is nearly USELESS !!
Thanks for NOTHING !!!

Me:
And thank you for the same.

Here’s a link to a video showing you how to use a standard online shopping cart. Cheers.
https://www.loom.com/share/93cdddf0fa2e46b28edc0dd5bdabc3ca